Selfish

You have to look after yourself! You can’t always be there for others! You have to look out for yourself! You must not forget your own needs!

But if I do, I let down others. I don’t want to be selfish. I’ve got to be there for my friends, for people who are important to me.

Still, every now and then you have to take your time, listen to what you want and what is good for you.

No, I can’t not be there for them. It’s what they expect from me. I am the reliable one.

If you don’t give yourself a break every now and then you won’t have the strength to be there for others anymore at some stage. What use is it to anyone if you wear yourself down? You can’t shoulder everyone else’s burden. It’s not your job.

They count on me. I cannot disappoint them, I must not. I have always been the one to count on.

That doesn’t matter, if they are really good friends they will understand that you too need a break from time to time. You are allowed to retreat, recharge and sort out what’s going on in your head. That is ok. Especially when you feel totally overwhelmed.

And then, probably with the worst timing I could have ever chosen, I listened to that voice for once…and made a mess; let down, disappointed, hurt and worried people. People who are important to me, who I like and love.

Now, besides the shame about being selfish, there’s also guilt.

Will I ever get this right?

This entry was posted in English, Feelings, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Selfish

  1. doppelfish says:

    “Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog-geyser-person.”

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